Your valuable posts and personal comments make this happen.
DadOnFire.net is a not for profit outreaching online web log committed to sharing experience and solutions to thousands of drug addicts and the families and communities impacted by them by publishing relevant information and discussions about addiction. Creating bridges to connect your experience and solutions to real needs.
This web log is inspired from my own experiences with my alcohol and substance abuse early in life and my current struggles with my own children who have or are currently suffering from the ravages of substance abuse.
I am also a successful architect, having pursued a 27 year architectural career which is still thriving and inspiring to me. Today, another great passion I have is creating a venue for sharing and exchanging all of our experiences with the impact of addiction and the world it has created. You might say that I really have had enough and want to do something about it. Hence, the name Dad on fire. A dad with a burning passion. A passion shared with many other dads, moms, cousins, friends, brothers, sisters, and our communities at large. The outreach of this project includes all addicts, their families and recovery communities. The intent is to make experiences and solutions available to the recovery community and the addicts that have and will inspire us to tackle the dilemma of addiction. The issues are complex and cannot fit in this space but will appear throughout the web log. People that connect with Dads on Fire will be those who can touch, move and inspire others. Some of us will go on to positively impact the maze of conditions that deal with addiction, multiple diagnosis, and recovery.
The success of this outreach and others like it, can and will make a difference. We can inspire more recovery and reduce the criminalization of addicts. We can transform the perception of the suffering addict from a “bad” person to a human being in need of help and recovery. We can begin to build a national community that can begin to deal with recovery in humane and cost effective surroundings rather that in costly prisons and expensive emergency rooms. We can not only save billions; we can grow stronger communities with better citizens by inspiring humane and productive reform.
Committed to sharing all of our experiences and solutions – - - Enjoy
William “Bill” Ford, Practicing Tucson Architect, Community Activist.
26 comments
Comments feed for this article
July 15, 2009 at 7:10 pm
Thomas Greco
Bill, I admire you for taking this initiative, and I think it will make a difference. As people post comments to your various posts and topical groups, this blog will become a useful site for dialog and mutual aid.
July 15, 2009 at 8:18 pm
dadonfire
Bear in mind Tom, this website is only a few short weeks old. As I find similar websites that are powerful in the subject area, I am providing links and shaping the character of this one. The point is to embrace and bridge what is out there to those who can benefit, and inspire conversations particular to Tucson and the category areas that Dadonfire will embrace.
July 21, 2009 at 5:56 am
JJ Moates
Wonderful site Bill! You gotta include the one above that I listed!!! I think I may have some input here as my sister has the gene. Bravo for the web site. Gayles’ vid inspired me to send it to President Obama. I shall Hope and Pray for her!
August 2, 2009 at 10:02 pm
northstarhawaii
I just found your through twitter! I love what you are doing as well
Thank you! Debbie
August 27, 2009 at 2:54 pm
Bob V.
Bill, a really great and courageous effort on your part. Thanks.
September 2, 2009 at 11:26 pm
Dad on Fire Burning for Your Participation « DadOnFire
[...] About “DadOnFire” [...]
September 5, 2009 at 5:50 am
John Plautz
Hey Bill, I’m really proud of you! Great work and all of us who knew you from the old days will applaud your efforts. By the way Bill, there are a bunch of us from Ayer and Shirley on Facebook. I’d like to see you on there. John
September 9, 2009 at 3:30 am
jonnyfrag
Rock on brother rock on! What you are doing here is great.
September 23, 2009 at 9:41 am
Dr. Barbara Sinor
Hi Bill, thanks for following me on Twitter. Your site here is terrific and i know it will help many. Feel free to use/copy anything you find on my web site, Twitter, Blog, or FaceBook page that might be of interest to your followers. I have one new book out this year on addiction titled “Addiction: What’s Really going On?” and one coming out next spring 2010 titled “Tales of Addiction and Inspiration for Recovery” which also might be of interest. I will keep in touch…
Dr. Barbara Sinor
http://www.drsinor.com
http://www.drsinor.wordpress.com
September 23, 2009 at 10:48 pm
Joe Herzanek
Awesome sight Bill! I look forward to partnering with you to spread the message of hope to struggling families and friends!
October 1, 2009 at 3:31 am
clintonliederman
Great blog Bill, its good to connect with people around the globe that share a common passion and goal. I have also personally had to face this giant in my life and overcome it by the grace of God.
Thanks for sharing and caring.
Clinton (@clinton316)
October 9, 2009 at 4:39 pm
Annette
So glad you are out here Bill. This is quite the journey and it is good to know that none of us are alone. Love the name…..very appropriate.
October 13, 2009 at 8:24 am
sharon
Hi Bill.
I admire you.
Love, your cousin Sharon
October 21, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Ron
It is good to find another Dad blogging about addicted children. I have been at it since Jan., but most of all the blogs I follow are written by mothers.
If you are interested in another father’s perspective here is a link to my blog.
http://www.parentsofanaddict.blogspot.com
Dad aka:Ron
November 1, 2009 at 8:45 am
Maggie Michel
Moving to the foothills was a smart move at the time, thinking I would keep my kids out of the gang, drug loop that was on the other sides of town. Little did I realize that one of my kids would become a heroin user for 6 plus years. What always amused me was the name itself…there is no hero in heroin. My home was a coming and going of my sons other addict buds when I was at work. If I came home and found the kids at my home I would make a calm phone call to the other parents to let them know what was happening and they needed to be aware of the problem. The names I was called for letting these parents know was absolutely horrific. The realization that they were scared sh–less kept nagging at me. The defense mechanisms were in high mode. What parent wants to really hear that their kid is using a drug so debilitating?
The reality is I walked around like a zombie for about 2 years trying to find a way out of the nightmare my family was in. I had an ex that was the classic addict mentality and enabler undoing anything I did to try and get our kid to reach out for the help. We buried 6 of his friends up here from OD’s. Often the ones that died were fresh out of very expensive rehabs. The point I am making is this…it is love and love alone that will help you and your family thru this nightmare. Tough love mostly. The realization that this person you gave birth to is an addict, making very adult decisions about their life and that they are capable of doing anything and everything under the sun to feed that habit. My home was burglarized; jewelry gone, car gone, anything worth anything-Gone.
Keeping out of my life and giving him over to god to deal with was my only salvation. I realized that personal survival was the order of my day. He had made a decision to no longer survive.One of our conversations was I would give him my gun with hollow points in it and drive him somewhere to end his life. I would have rather buried him one time than bury him daily in my head. Nothing I could do , say or give him would matter except I told him I loved him. Then I let him go. I knew I might one day get the call from the coroners office that he was dead. He has had 8 double strapped US Marshalls after him. He spent time in jail both county and state. He has a felony record which makes it tough to get real work. BUT, he is clean for almost 2 years. I saw him a couple months ago and said he and God were responsible for his life being where it is now. Most importantly, he was honest with me. We spoke openly about our feelings about the nightmare we all went thru. I brought up somethings that possibly brought him to the place he is at now. He understood why I did what I had to do at the time.
My hope is that he will be able to help other people in the grips of addiction. He has counseled some but at this point feels it is also important to stay away from anyone involved with the lifestyle. He is working, playing in a band, has a nice girlfriend, is clean of alcohol, drugs, and cigarettes. He eats organic and lives as clean a lifestyle as possible. As parents we need to love our kids enough to not be their friends but to be their parents. They need that more than an I-phone or a car. Parents need to be good to their own selves. An addict will bring wrack and ruin to even the best marriages. I do not feel lucky to have a son that has beaten the addiction route. We were blessed. Faith and prayer were the only way to make it out the other side and the smile on my sons face is proof that it worked.
Maggie M
November 1, 2009 at 10:35 pm
Joe Herzanek
Maggie, your story is so valuable for other parents to hear. Would you consider letting us post it to our blog??? Or if there was a way to directly link from there to your reply….???
Blessings,
—Joe
November 2, 2009 at 8:07 am
Maggie Michel
Hi Joe,
Of course you may. ! When I got past the anger phase of this, I made a deal with myself and determined there is a mission of letting other parents know there is a way to get out of the drug addict spiral in the family. I saw it like a drain, just sucking all of us down with the addict. So when this page popped up in the Weekly, I checked it out and saw other people trying to get back to life again.
Thanks for contacting me!
Maggie
November 2, 2009 at 12:38 pm
Joe Herzanek
Thanks so much Maggie! You can see your “repost” here: Maggies Story in “Why don’t they just Quit”
Thanks for your willingness to help others with your story.
November 13, 2009 at 3:01 pm
Eddie Grijalva
Thanks for talking with me Bill. My hope is that one day every parent will see thier loved ones set free from this insidious epidemic. You can read part of my story that was printed in September of last year. “There but for the grace of God go I”. In His Name.
January 10, 2010 at 2:49 pm
Barbara Allen, Jim's Mom
Bill, found your site through Larry’s http://www.prescriptionradioshow.com; Odd how life evolves. My son, Jim, died from an OD of heroin/alcohol in 2003. He was 35, living in Phoenix and just been released after four months in Sherriff Joe’s “company”. While there on a probation violation, he sobered up (again), enjoyed working filling the shelves of a local food bank and went me many of the funny postcards made available through the jail system.
After a few years of grief work, I began speaking to other parents across the US whose children have died from the disease of addiction. The stories are (not surprisingly) similar – good people with a debilitating disease – treated like criminals or worse. Right now my energies are focused on putting my story, Jim’s and the common elements of so many others into a book. Does the world need another book by a bereaved parent?
For me, there is no choice; it will be completed in a few months with the encouragement of so many other parents whose hearts are broken. For them and for those who continue to struggle with this disease I give out wristbands that say: “No Shame or Blame: Just Love”. There is no charge; this is done in memory of a son who fought this disease for 21 years – having some great years and hellacious years, too.
When Jim was alive, I researched treatment options; learned about heroin when it came into the picture. When he died, I looked for other parents who suffered the same loss from this disease. I found other bereaved parents but the shame from the disease kept a lot of parents in “hiding”. I was never ashamed of my son’s disease. Hate the disease, love the person. Today it is my intention to invite parents out of the shadow of shame cast by a grossly uninformed public. I wish to give them back their children’s memories and whatever else is hidden way because of ignorance.
The efforts you are involved in matter; thanks for offering a central location for myself and others to get educated. Life is choice; my son is gone but he was a fighter. In his memory, and that of far, far too many others, we need to make a difference with this disease of addiction. Bless your efforts and all who are working to make these changes!
Hugs of hope, Barbara
March 3, 2010 at 4:43 pm
Cherie
Thank you for this site. It is great for addicts (such as myself) searching for answers to be reminded that families do care because we addicts don’t feel worthy. I appreciate the blog regarding suboxone because it is so misunderstood. I took suboxone for two and a half years and intend to go back on suboxone very soon. So many people are caught up in whether or not the person with this disease is “truly in recovery” or are they “getting high in another way” or “replacing one drug for another”. So to answer the question of whether or not we need another book from another bereaved parent…”YES”. The parents more than anything we need books from because they are the ones who truly care about those with the disease. It isn’t about money or affiliations or career or monetary gain in any way. It is always 100% about what will or would have kept their addict from suffering and kept countless others from watching them suffer. It is about what will or what would have kept their addict alive. The bereaved parent has credibility and is heard. Although the medical and recovery communities have been arguing for quite some time now about one drug replacing another or addicts getting high on suboxone or about whether or not the addict on suboxone is “truly in recovery”, I would venture to guess that the bereaved father or mother holds the key and answers to all of these questions. The bereaved mother or father is likely to say that if their son or daughter no longer held immense pain in their eyes, functioned well at home and at work, enjoyed life, could genuinely love and be loved, could be free of worry and shame over their addiction, and for all other intensive purposes behaved and lived like someone untouched by this disease that it wouldn’t matter if they were in “recovery” or if they were “high” or if they were “replacing one drug with another” because their addict would be alive and well.
Although it was the stigma and pressure of the medical community and those around me which led me to stop my suboxone, in the face of adversity, it is sites like this and people like YOU reminding me that even though my family may not know it yet and although they may disagree and although my ego may tell me otherwise; the best thing I can do for them and me is keep myself healthy and alive even if that means taking yet another drug to make the fantasy a reality. Families, the medical community, the recovery community, and addicts themselves need YOUR reminders of how serious this disease is so we don’t get caught up in all of the things that do not matter.
Thank you for this website and thank you to everyone who has commented and to those parents who keep fighting. We need you.
Cherie
Proud, Productive, and Alive Suboxone User for Life
March 3, 2010 at 10:16 pm
dadonfire
CHERI – NUMBER ONE. Stay healthy and alive! You are valuable. We want your voice. Just like you asked; do we need one more story from another parent who lost a kid??? YES! Every story is a revelation. An attempt to cut through to the truth. I appreciate your courage and candid sharing of your life. This website is not a place for moral judgment. I shy away from too much opinion. Yesterday, I shared a video review from Joe, founder of “Changing Lives Foundation” He has shared time and time again about the value of abstinence and I respect that alot. My AA years were simple. One day at a time. A desire to stay clean. Progress; not perfection. One things stands out to me about recovery and it was said by my friend, Joe. Regarding relapse…”recovery is not event; it is a process”….It varies so much from person to person. Another blog contributor, Keith, a 3 year user of suboxone, talks about his remarkable progress and the thin between dependence and addiction as he describes his dependence to suboxone for the time being. So, you are safe here. Your desire to want sobriety is key to the recovery process. I may talk about moving on from suboxone from time to time because of real concerns of long term use of replacement drug therapy. My wish for you is that you find your balance and make a difference in the life of a suffering addict. God bless.
March 19, 2010 at 4:58 pm
Mom
Bill, God bless you on this website and trying to help people who are addicted and posting info submitted by other parents, etc. I keep hoping and praying that your son finds his way out of addiction and gets his life together. Love, Mom
August 23, 2010 at 4:18 pm
panicmonster
What a wonderful website.
Your honesty is refreshing and all the info you post is so very useful.
I too am a recovered drug addict, although I have been sober since aug 25th 2006 (tomorrow!!!!) i still to this day struggle with the horrible repercussions of my intense drug abuse. Severe Panic Disorder, Agoraphobia and PTSD
For me it started when I was a teen and spiraled out of control well into my 20s.
I wish waaaay back then we had outlets like the internet and websites like yours to help and or just plant that little seed of doubt and perhaps stop me or keep me from ever starting what I did.
thank u for your awesome and touching blog
November 11, 2010 at 3:43 pm
denise krochta
I just now came across your site and know I’ll want to take time to navigate through it. I just wanted you to know about my radio show and hope you will feel it appropriate to add to your radio links.
It is a new show that began last week “Addicted to Addicts:Survival101″ on webtalkradio.net. Here is the link. Please feel free to listen to the current show and hit the archives button for last week.
http://webtalkradio.net/shows/addicted-to-addicts-survival-101/
When you have time, please let me know what you think. I’m always looking for topics and guests.
May 29, 2011 at 5:55 pm
msjo101
Bill,
I love your blog and your organization!
I am: One Mad Mother2011
I look forward to reading more!