Actually this blog is called: Highs Lows Crack. A UK mother fed up to her eyeballs about the scourge of addiction, writes a poignant pissed off piece called: Baby to Bastard in 32 Years. Surely many parents will relate to this and many other truth-isms in this blog; coming to terms to the reality of tough love and saving the hair follicles. Have a story or an interesting blog you want to share; send it to DadonFire Submissions
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November 14, 2009 at 4:03 pm
quasar63
Oh I know her anger. The kids here on the hard stuff and that’s scary. Cause they got to have it once they’re hooked. Worse yet, most learned it from they’re parents. We’ve got huge problems here, and I know that we better get the stuff taxed and regulated, cause stopping the madness is, high near impossible.
November 15, 2009 at 9:25 am
Bob
Wow, she’s a mom, and a poet… what a wonderful blog. As a crack addict myself who, like her son, tormented his parents for years, I can only say now I had no good reason for doing these things. I blamed, lied, cheated and manipulated. And like your son, I expressed my own self-loathing as contempt for everyone and everything around me. At age 30, I finally got sober. Today, I am 48 years old, with two young teens of my own, and God help me if they treat me as poorly as I treated my folks…
Today, I am convinced I was able to recover ONLY because my parents were there for me when I could not be there for myself. It was they who had planted the seed deep down inside me that I was meant to live a meaningful and productive life; and while I couldn’t bear to face that fact in my addiction, it proved to be the anchor of my sobriety. Today, when I talk to moms and dads of addicts, I tell them simply this. 1. There is NO WRONG WAY to love your son. 2. Give him the gift of NO, refuse to participate even one more day as an accomplice in his self-loathing and his self-destruction; and 3. Kids don’t listen to what their parents SAY, they watch what their parents DO. Parents need to model healthy self care by setting boundaries and taking care of themselves FIRST.
Today, I am grateful to my parents for the gift of NO, and for being there for me when I could not be there for myself.
November 15, 2009 at 1:13 pm
Polly G
Thank you very much for your insightful comments Bob. I agree – No means yes – I love you, but I want you to do what’s good for you.
He’s a wonderful funny talented and creative man with the capacity to do good for many people. That’s the frustration and tragedy but he does know and recognise this in his more sober moments.
Despite the pain and distress, despite the chaos that his addiction wreaks in his life and ours, I know he understands that he is not acting in his own best interests, and is not there for himself. Keep following – and there is poetry in pain though, I would prefer to be poetic about something joyful.
I have refused to deny him the chance to be anything except decent.He can show slivers of humanity and it can be breathtaking. He is deeply perceptive about people and can use this to good effect.
He is highly intelligent and charismatic; and has earned huge sums of money with ease. He’s a great writer and raconteur. I look forward to him joining the human race, and in effect, being re-born when he shakes off the shackles of this drug and others ,which hold him in a vice-like grip. He has to want to and needs to, soon,as he is damaging his health.
So pleased to hear your brave and positive story, as it breathes hope in to the gloomy equation. Take care. Polly
November 15, 2009 at 8:36 pm
Barbara
I am going to go check out her blog, thank you.